Under My Government

Decades ago, a Free Press columnist, Judd Arnett, had a frequent column entitled "Under My Government." In it, he solved the problems of, if not the world, at least our United States. So, here goes my version of "Under My Government."

College athletes would have to be bona fide students, not sham students. I heard an interview with an Amherst professor at halftime of a Jeffs game a few weeks ago. He said something like, "Amherst players have to take the same classes and do the same work as everyone here." Yep, that's how it should be. If they can't handle it, find someplace else to play, but not at a college. People, namely professors, coaches, and alumni, if caught helping players to evade this academic responsibility should be charged with fraud or some other crime. The same goes for college administrators who aid and abet, or even look the other way.

Any players, at whatever levels, should be penalized for showboating. Especially so are those who carry on after making a tackle when their team is losing by four TDs. A second violation will result in "disqualification" from participation.

There will be no high school football playoffs. I was reminded of this in an e-mail by one of my college teammates, who was getting set to go to a Thanksgiving Day game, the last one of the season in CT, his old HS vs the biggest rival. What's wrong with ending a season that way? One of my buddies noted how much fun playing in the Rubber Bowl in Akron on Thanksgiving Day. Without the playoffs, the high school football season is 12-13 weeks long, far too much. And what's wrong with not having a champion "on the field?" Why can't people debate what team is best? How much more interesting! In '73, Fordson and cross-town rival Edsel Ford played the last game of the season; both were undefeated and ranked #2 and #3 respectively. What a great game to finish with! FHS won by about 4o points and yet didn't finish ranked #1 in the newspaper poll, the only rankings at the time. What a great conversation starter for years and years to come.

For that matter, colleges would return to the old bowl system, getting rid of this BCS crap. We don't need a "champion on the field." Leave all that to the professionals. We can have voting, by coaches and by writers. Then we can argue all winter, spring, and summer long about how right or wrong they were. That's much more fun.

High school basketball? A tournament? Well, OK, maybe. But, I'd cut the season to 18 instead of 20 games or limit the number of weeks--to play 20 games, a team needs to play twice a week and that includes during the Chris break. And there would be no more 40+ game baseball or softball seasons in HS either. I'd go down the list and pare back the number of contests in all sports if needed.

Recent immigrants to the US will not immediately qualify for welfare. Those who circumvent this law will be deported--after being fined or made to pay back. If they don't have any money, they can pick up papers along the side of the road, pick weeds, etc.

Elected officials cannot tell people what kind of light bulbs to use, what types of televisions to watch, what kind of cars to buy, etc. They should not be able to tell me what kind of food, fast food, I can or can't eat. I'm a big boy and can make decisions for myself.

Elected officials must also follow the same laws we do. For instance, Nancy Pelosi and John Boehner engaged in inside trading based on what they had exclusive knowledge about and did nothing but make money. Martha Stewart and many others went to jail. NO MORE!

Politicians who promise one thing during campaigns and then do another once elected would be prosecuted for fraud. Let a jury of their peers decide their fate.

School administrators will be chosen from among the best teachers, not the worst or, at the least, the most mediocre. And, they will be required to teach at least one class each semester or term so they don't forget what it's like to teach.

"Greed" will be applied to more than CEOs, Big Oil, Wall Street, or Big Bankers. They don't hold a monopoly on greed. What about the Hollywood-types, professional athletes, hippy-rock singers, etc.? They, too, will then be wearing the same label. Gas station owners who charge a dime or more for credit card purchases will have to justify the extra money or be compelled to post a sign reading, "WE ARE GREEDY!" I think we might also do the same for electricians, plumbers, etc. who charge more for a half hour of work than I do in teaching two nights a week.

Public shame and humiliation will return. This will help to hold people accountable and responsible for their actions. It will be illegal to continue with "Let's not point fingers," "Let's not cast blame," "Let's move on," "Let's get beyond this," "Let's not look at the past," etc. Those who deserve blame will be identified and held accountable.

Politicians who cut taxes (or at least make speeches touting tax cuts) in election years, after ranting against them in the past, will have to wear large campaign buttons that read, "Fraud" or "Hypocrite."

That should help get our new gov't off the ground....